


Shadows in the Light

by Tink_Wondering



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character death (unseen and before the story), Ghostbusters (kind of), Ghosts, M/M, Oneshot, Open Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tink_Wondering/pseuds/Tink_Wondering
Summary: Arthur does not and will not grieve for his mother’s death; Merlin tries to help him be reasonable. They may or may not find that ghosts exists along the way.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14
Collections: The Melee Challenge





	Shadows in the Light

**Author's Note:**

> For the Melee Fit Book Club Discord Server Challenge.  
>   
> My prompts:
> 
>   * Word: Photo
>   * Color: Ultramarine [(#470FF4)](https://coolors.co/ce2d4f-ce6d8b-cebbc9-4056f4-470ff4)
> 


“Merlin, I tell you! They exist!” Arthur was frantic, waving the device right and left, searching for a signal. 

Merlin did not know how he manipulated the metal contraption so easily. He gripped the machine by two side handles that permitted him to rotate it on its tripod and point it where he needed. It was a big, bulky thing with a touch screen and too many buttons, shiny lights and antennas that he couldn’t make heads or tails of—was that a camera lens on top?— but Arthur swore that would finally prove his theories. 

“This baby right here is the answer to all our questions, and he will eat his oxford polished shoes.” 

Merlin did not need precisions to know who he was, Uther. 

Since they met, Arthur had this ‘anything and everything is possible’ fascination with ghosts. It had put them in contact, leading to their present collaboration. Merlin had been in need of a job, and Arthur an assistant; the ad had been vague, but the pay was good. However, during the last year, the more he got to know Arthur, and the more he saw Uther’s side, not that he would ever say it aloud because alienating himself from his son was not good parenting. However, Arthur’s reason to chase after ghosts was starting to seem obsessive and slightly unhealthy. 

He had been young when his first pet died. His mom had told him it would always be there for him and Arthur had taken it to heart; he swore he could see their dead pet. Morgana—a child who succeeded to run away, but a child nonetheless—told him Arthur had always been a sensitive child, and however much he tried not to, he always sought the approbation of Uther. 

When Uther had sent him to specialists to understand what was wrong with his son, it chipped at his soul. When the specialists told Uther that it was a phase that would eventually pass, a kid’s imagination, and Uther dissociated himself from his son, it broke him. So Arthur had thrown all his love into his mother, his last refuge.

When she got sick, Arthur was devastated, but when she died, he was never the same again. Although not claiming that he could see the dead anymore, Arthur still maintained the belief that she was still with them, to Uther’s disbelief. Years later, Arthur had made it his life's work to prove the existence of ghosts.

“Uh-uh, if you say so,” was Merlin’s skeptical response. He stepped to the side when Arthur backed his way; he muttering something about waves and colours and tilting his head to the side to get a better view of… something. “Question,” Merlin added. Arthur’s findings of the day, might it be positive or negative, would hit him hard. Then Merlin would be the one to pick up the pieces, might they be broken by joy or grief; he was better off preparing the blond to whichever outcome.

“What again, Merlin.” Arthur turned his head back to throw him an annoyed look. Merlin raised an eyebrow; not as effective as Gaius, but he liked to lord it over Arthur who couldn’t lift his independently. Arthur huffed loudly and turned back to his instrument, changing settings on the touch screen, pressing buttons and adjusting antennas. “We are on the cusp of making history.”

“Right, history.” Merlin wondered how to delicately bring up the subject. Then again, it was usually better to rip the plaster with him. “Arthur, what will you do if this version doesn’t work?”

“Make another one, _Mer_ lin. Now smile or something,” he said as he turned the device—Merlin guessed—to face him.

Merlin smiled awkwardly—too many teeth, cheek straining upwards—but it did not seem to have mattered so much, because before the flash even finished blinding him, Arthur had turned the device back around to fiddle some more with it.

“Right… let me try again. What will you do if you succeed in proving the existence of ghosts, but can’t find your mother?”

Arthur spun on himself so quickly that Merlin was scared he’d torn his knee, but he simply looked at him with such a betrayed look that Merlin almost instantly regretted his question. Still, it needed to be asked. He didn’t think Arthur ever considered the alternative; he was too focused on proving his father wrong to think that he might be right.

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m sorry, Arthur, but you need to face this. What is this machine even going to tell you?”

“Do you really want to know or are you going to run back to Uther to tell him what a disappointment I am?” A surprised look suddenly came over Arthur, then his eyes creased in suspicion. “Have you been working for Uther all this time?”

“Wh—? Arthur, why would ever think that?”

“And why would you say that?” Arthur countered, not leaving Merlin an inch.

“Arthur, I’m sorry. But this has been going on for so long, maybe too long. You’ve got a Ph.D. in physics! You could do so much with your life!”

“ _My_ life, Merlin, not yours. I can do—”

“You can do what you want with it, Arthur,” Merlin acquiesced softly, interrupting him to avoid one of his famous rants, “but I just—” He takes a deep breath trying to formulate his tumultuous thoughts in a way that’ll make Arthur understand. “I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“I’m already hurt, Merlin,” was Arthur’s immediate response. “I hurt with every fiber of my body— Every day that I can’t prove she’s here I hurt, and I know she’s here!” Arthur took a deep, calming breath and added softly, looking down at his feet, “I hurt even more knowing that she’s here and that no one trusts in what I say. Because it may be devastating that no one believes me, but how do you think she feels that no one believes in her own existence.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said just as softly. “If she’s trapped like that, how will you get her out?”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to. Maybe she wants to stay here.” Arthur’s head snapped back up defiantly.

“Even you don’t believe that.”

“You don’t understand! You’ve never lost someone important to you,” Arthur yelled.

“I did. My father. Ten years ago. You know that,” Merlin said matter-of-factly. “So I know about losing someone you love. And I get it, it hurts. They’re not there when you want to share something funny you’ve seen. They’re not there to comfort you when you’re sad, and you’re always sad _because_ they’re not there. But they still live in your memories, and it’s a disservice to them to live only for them when all they wish is probably for you to live for you. It’s important to learn to let them go.”

Arthur had gotten up during his tirade, but now he was sitting in a chair, his head in his hands. With his head hung low, he looked so sad and defeated.

“ _But_ if this is important for you, it is important for me too,” Merlin acknowledged. “We’ll do this, but once you find her, you have to let her go Arthur.”

“No, I—”

“For you _and_ for her, Arthur. Promise me.”

“Why don’t you just leave?" Arthur sighed. "Like everyone else!”

“Because I trust your judgement, Arthur, despite what you may think of me at the moment. I believe in you.”

And Arthur did the unexpected. He kissed him. Not in a ‘Hi, nice to see you, grandma’ kind of way—which would be awkward—but full-on mouth, teeth clashing from the impact. 

Merlin would be lying if he said he’d never wish for this, but he never expected it to happen other than in his dreams. He softened his lips to show him the kiss wasn’t unwelcome, he threaded a hand in his silky blond hair to tell him he desired it just as much, and he nipped his way down his neck when they separated for air to assure himself that it was real—and maybe to get a taste in case it was a sudden error of judgement.

He let go of the skin he was worrying between his teeth to look at Arthur and confirm that this was not some sort of possession induced kiss or something. Blue met blue and from Arthur’s bashful smile Merlin knew it was mutual if not a little unplanned.

However, before they could exchange more words—or in this case any words at all on this new activity that they seemed to be engaging themselves on now—the machine beeped loudly, attracting Arthur’s attention.

He pulled away from Merlin—the faint warmth of his hands already feeling so cold—and started fiddling with the machine again.

“What did it find?” Merlin forced himself to ask. He would not get Arthur back until this new mystery was solved.

“Merlin!” He exclaimed excitedly, sounding like a kid on Christmas. “You won’t believe this… it worked! She’s here?”

“What? How?”

“The photo I took of you earlier—”

“So it had another purpose than to blind me.”

“Don’t be smart. The photo was essentially a way to capture waves of energy. I call this specific wavelength ultramarine, because it is longer than UV light but shorter than visible light; like for colours, violet is more on one extreme of the spectrum while blue is more towards the center, so ultramarine.”

“Right,” Merlin nodded, only half understanding colour comparison. “So where is she?” Merlin stepped beside Arthur to get a view of the screen.

“Right here.” Arthur pointed just to the side of photo-Merlin where a bluish-purple shadow seemed to hover. It faintly looked like a woman, the face delicate with lighter blue hair floating behind her, but he didn’t know if it could be easily distinguished as Arthur’s mother.

Merlin shivered in embarrassment at the thought; Arthur’s mother who just witnessed them exchanging saliva. He looked away from the picture, but something dark on the other side attracted his attention.

“Arthur, what is that in the corner?” It was a deeper shadow, if the lighter one could be identified as a woman, this one didn’t have a shape. However, there was something human-like to it. “If, as you say, ghosts get trapped. Who else is here?”

**Author's Note:**

> I should also probably stop publishing at 2 AM, so unbeta'd and all errors are my fault and the lack of sleep.


End file.
